Do Women Talk More Than Men Do?

It is an old stereotype that women talk more than men.

A lot of this brings about negative stereotypes and women are given even derogatory attributes as a result of their supposed talkativeness. Women might be seen as “chatty” or “gossipy”, while men would be supposed to speak only when required and only to communicate valuable information.

I remember hearing things like the average woman speaks about 3 times as much as the average man, and that always surprised me a little.

Is this stereotype true?

Well, according to recent research this is not the case at all.

A team at Arizona University found that women only speak around 3% more than men do. One thing of note was that there is more variation in how much men speak than for women. That is, the difference between the most talkative and least talkative women is not so great as between the most talkative and least talkative man.

This idea that women “talk too much” might come from an effort to downplay what women are saying.

Women are also thought to assume an “inferior” role during conversation. In the 1970s, linguist Robin Stakoff argued that there is such a thing as a “woman’s register”. Women allegedly speak more politely, use less wear words, and weaker vocabulary than men₁.

In her book ‘Talk – The Science of Conversation’, Elizabeth Stokoe addresses such language myths. One popular assumption is that men are much more likely to interrupt women. Stokoe points out that this is based on mistaken interpretation. Women might be more likely to use filler words and longer sentences, perhaps speaking ‘differently’ but in no way as conversational inferiors.

Perhaps some of these assumptions can be analysed via the question of why men and women might communicate differently. Women are thought to communicate to share information and connect₂, while men talk more with the aim of “one-upping” another.

Research backs this up. Women, when paired with other women, speak more than men do amongst each other₃. Maybe we adapt to our interlocuter and try to speak to them accordingly.

In mixed groups on the other hand, women speak less than men do₄. Often this may be down to communication styles, and in situations such as professional environments that are male-centric, this leads to women losing their voice even more.

A lot of these assumed tendencies to speak less or more may not be based on science at all, but rather generalised assumptions we make. Researchers hardly question whether gender really plays a role at all in matters such as speech. As Stokoe puts it, “Often, then, researchers do not really study gender difference. They simply create and maintain it.”

Perhaps matters of speech are not down to natural instincts and tendencies as much as they are on societal norms and expectations.

For more on this topic, read my blog post here about women’s struggle to voice opinions.